Joyce Leslie Edwards (Moore)

Good Morning. First, I want to thank you for giving me this honor of sharing my thoughts and experiences on this very special day. I want to start by reading this story by an unknown author ? It?s a story of a Mother to her Daughter called - - -
Being a Mom
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family.?you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations ..."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffl? or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that HARM may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years-not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
"You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God ... that of being a Mother.

My speech
WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A MOTHER. . .

First let me say, simply having children is not what makes a mother.

I love being a mother, and I am blessed with a great husband, and three wonderful sons.
Everything I learned about being a Mom, I learned from my mother; my grandmothers, mother-in-law, stepmothers, my adopted mothers; friends who are mothers, and Sunday school. What I found, is ? no matter how old you get, this is a job with no end, a tremendous learning curve, and just when you think you have a handle on it, the job description changes. No one ever told me that there are phases to motherhood. The first thing I can remember about being a Mom was from a conversation I had with my mother. I was about five years old. We were sitting on the couch looking out the picture window onto Martindale Avenue and we were talking about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I remember asking her her, ?How do you learn to be a mommy? I am not sure how the conversation turned, but I ended up learning this song from her.

Have faith, hope and charity
That's the way to live successfully
How do I know, the bible tells me so

Don't worry 'bout tomorrow
Just be real good today
The Lord is right beside you
He'll guide you all the way

Have faith, hope and charity
That's the way to live successfully
How do I know, the Bible tells me so

I look back on that now, and I realize that she was giving me the cornerstone of what I needed to know about being a mother.

What I want to talk about this morning is ? WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A MOTHER. . .

Mothers are The Guiding Light for her children! What I learned at such an early age, has been fortified and validated through my life experiences. That recipe, later my revelation, was taught to me in that song. That is, there are Four Basic building blocks of Motherhood. Love ? Hope ? Faith and Charity.

When I first became a mother, I remember thinking ? ?I?m not ready for this! I have no idea what to do! All I knew about being a mother ? I thought ? was ?when I grow up ? I?m going to do it different than my Mother! That?s what I thought. What I found as I really got into the position was ? she was a lot smarter than I originally gave her credit, because I found myself doing the exact same things she did in raising my two sisters and me.

I remember her saying ?My job is to guide you so you know what to do, when to do it, and how to do it right. She was my life guide ? my guiding light ? and still is. She was my first teacher to provide me with skills and knowledge. My first, playmate and friend to teach me how to get along with others and share. My first advisory and foe to teach me how to deal with bad situations. My first critic and cheerleader to help me be humble but to also accept praise. My first counselor to give advice and to know when to reject it. She was my first advocate, teaching me to get out of my comfort zone and take on the world, even when I did not think I was ready. She told me I could do anything, and was one of the first people to say, ?You can even be president if you really wanted to? ? without laughing afterward. Not very many people ever told me anything like that. On the contrary.

And she became each of these, and more, as I needed the skills and knowledge each role dictated. She provided and guided me with what I needed when I needed it.

My father was a ?PK, a Preacher?s kid. I attended church with my father, but I learned to be reverent and get involved in church from my mother. She always instilled in us the first building block ? LOVE. The importance of family, friends and taking care of others.

Titus 2:3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children?

I remember Easter Sundays, going to church, hat and gloves, patent leather baby doll shoes. I think back on my Sunday school teachings. This is where I learned more about hope and faith. I remember reading about the story of Mary and Jesus at the wedding, the story of the First Miracle of Jesus. I can see it being that way with Mary and Jesus. You remember the story of his first miracle. He was at an affair with his Mom, probably the wedding of a family member, and they ran out of wine. Mary turns to Jesus and says, ?They are out of wine, do something.? Just like most sons, he says, ?Mom?. Not now. It?s not my time.

Now, Mary, being a mother, (the template of all mothers), did what we all now do.
She gave him that ?look?. That ?Mother look?, turned to the servants, and said, ?Do what he tells you to do.?

Jesus, being the dutiful son, did what all good sons do in a situation like that after getting the ?look?, without anymore discussion, he completed the task,. He knew his Mom had always been there to provide support, guidance and he trusted her instinct. Because he did so, was ushered or ?guided? into his ministry. He was ready, and she knew he was ready. She provided the push he needed at the time he needed to be pushed. That?s what mothers do. She reinforced his Hope and Faith in himself and his mission. This story showed me the importance of both.

Mary also had to do something else at this time, something very hard to do. It was her time to let go. She had provided him with everything he needed to get him where he needed to go. This wedding party, Jesus? first Miracle, also became his ?rite of Passage into his ministry. Mary had to redefine her role and go into another phase of motherhood. So when Jesus calls her ?Woman?, both are declaring and acknowledging the new boundaries of their relationship. Being a mother of sons, I always tell them, when they marry, ?cling to your wives.?

As I said earlier, I learned to be a mother from many resources and from them I learned to be kind, tolerant, compassionate, generous, and hard when necessary. Most of these women did it with such passion, that it never occurred to me to do it any other way myself. My most recent lessons were from a dear friend, Betty Black, who has taught me, some mothers are blessed, with extra patience and kindness to an incredible degree. She has exhibited to me how to be accepting of circumstances, and devoted at a level I had never conceived possible before. And she does it graciously and without complaint. As I said before, I have learned that being a mother is a job with a very steep learning curve. It is an every changing job that never ends. One of the things I tell my Daughter-in-laws is this:

I hope that you will always be my son?s wife. That is my wish. However, I will always be his mother ? even when I am in the grave, and you need to remember that. I tell them that so they will ponder the relationship. A child is forever marked by his or her mother. To know the mother is to know the child. That is the Charity part four.

In conclusion, I learned a mother provides to her family and especially her children 4 primary things to guide them through life. That is:

1. Provide unconditional love. (Love is patient, love is kind.) 1 Corinthians 14:1
2. Hope (Trust, possibilities, dreams, expectation)
3. Faith (devotion, loyalty, commitment, dedication)
4. Charity (The Golden Rule) (Tolerance, compassion, sympathy, benevolence, understanding)

I miss my Mom. I lost her two years ago this month. She is always with me. I leave you with these three bible verses. . .

Proverbs 31:28 NIV "Her children arise and call her blessed;"

Philippians 1:15 NIV "I thank God every time I remember you."

Galatians 5:22 NIV ?But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. ?

HAPPY MOTHER?S DAY!